No sorry mate. I cant marry you. My Mum would go crazy if I brought a matelot home.

Just a few silly naval cartoons I have to dispose of to clear out MY PICTURES trivia.

     In a moment I am going to ask you about the ORDER "on your knee" or "on your knees" and I bet you a bob or more that you cannot answer the question. More of that in a minute. Oh by the way, being a CGI might help but I doubt it !

This is an eye sight test to qualify for a Leading Patrolman changing branches from a dabtoe.

So big boy, what have you got in there...RABBITS ? No RPO,  PIGS, I don't like rabbit meat. PIGS you say, what, from our wardroom ? No way, says Jack, from the Jossman's cabin !

Cash Office Chief Writer.  Doing a runner with the ships company pay.
The quintessential arch-demon of the lower deck.  Merit ticks for being loud-mouthed = 100; for being subtle = 0.  For not understanding that for the most part his audience was intelligent and quick to learn = 0, but for persistent bullying from him and his branch colleagues who were not known for their overt intelligence = 100.  It is rather sad that their branch is not known or remembered for their positive contribution to "gunnery" especially in WW2 but at later times like Korea, Yangtse [China],  Suez, and Falklands or for their modern-day contribution in the OPS ROOM [or the T.S. = Transmitting Station] and their undoubted skills in missilery. However, whatever their claim to fame, they were really, at heart, a nice bunch of guys. 

No Chief, I am not out of the dress of the day!  Don't argue, you are dressed back to front. No Chief, I am just a messy eater !

Before the days of the Fleet Chief in 1970. The departmental run ashore. The Chief, the PO, the killick, the AB,  and the village idiot, the junior.

Is it a pussers issued No 1's or a Bernard Tailors tiddly suit at a leg-lifting, life time allotment commitment. Jack's run ashore rig with  22" bell bottom stretched over the chief stokers dhoby bucket ?

Jimmy [No 1] thinking.....just one more stripe and then I too will be an admiral ! - or was he wondering why he was not called what his dear mother christened him? His shakes suggest that he was angry about something.

The crew gets smaller every time we ditch gash. The communal party is so bloody lethargic that to these vultures they appear as dead meat. 

Is this a dabtoe or a stoker I see before me? Handsome with it.  Jack, the very picture of good health !!!!
Jacks medical!  

God almighty Smith your PULHHEEMS reveals that you are full of soot.

 You have failed your medical and I decree that from now on your blue liners are stopped.

AMEN to all that !!   NOTE - NOT A THUMBNAIL

 Look mate, after OFF CAPS and the WARRANT is read comes the convict [DQ's] photograph.  Shut up and just SMILE.


Can you remember those journeys between messdeck  and galley / rum issue areas ?  I left the issue area with 2 and 1, but by the time I get below to my mess, this grog will be 1 and 10 with seawater goffers.

Rats come readily to mind ! Rescued from the barrel, resuscitated and recuperating.   Hands to bathe is usually over the side into the 'oggin' !  NOTE - NOT THUMBNAILS   and 
A definite sign of a peaceful night?  They were not issued to seagoing vessels except to sickbays therein! The pussers bedspread





Now back to that Royal Naval expression -  "on your knee" or expanded "on your knees".  Ever heard of it ?  No, nor had I until I came across this story about Portsmouth RNB which led to courts martial and some heavy punishments for certain ratings.  In much earlier times [late 19th and early 20th centuries] it was the norm for newspapers to follow courts martial as they happened and to report upon them for public domain use at the end of each day or session or case. This story comes from the TIMES NEWSPAPER dated September 1906 when HMTE Shotley [which became RNTE Shotley and later HMS Ganges] was in its embryonic stages, when punishments were harsh [and didn't necessarily fit the crime !] and any slackness in discipline was quickly stamped on. Have a look at THE DISTURBANCE AT PORTSMOUTH NAVAL BARRACKS IN 1905